The Yo-Yo Effects

I realize that weight loss is not as easy as it once was when I was a teenager. I could eat whatever I wanted, & never had a problem with my weight.

In my younger years, I was always actively running somewhere, whether it was sports, church, or racing events, I always remember being active.

So to become bed-bound for a little over 3.5 years, & house-bound for almost 6. The misery of Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome (crps) could break many people leading them to suicide, which crps is known as the suicide disease, because of the neurological burning. 

Weight loss has genuinely been pretty easy for me, however, when I became diabetic in 2004 due to having pancreatitis for 8 years, then having it finally taken out, it has been challenging because of the lack of hormones, and enzymes necessary to digest.

Needless to say, there are times where I am full and satisfied, but my blood sugars drop, then I need to eat again. There are times where I have exercised maybe 10 to 20 minutes too long and my blood sugars drop. Sometimes they are too high and I do not recognize it until it is later, so, I have decided to check a little more often.

I become afraid when I am smaller, so I realize I completely sabotage my diet so I can get all the weight back on even though I know it is a false sense of security. 

People do not dislike me or like me any better or different at 115 or 147. However, when I was smaller, it seemed to bother other people around me, and the uneasy feeling of anxiety crept in, and I started to choose food instead of writing, or talking it out. 

Subconsciously, I know what is best for me, however, sometimes I let my anxiety and depression get the best of me and I start to eat the uneasy feelings away.

The problem with that is the constant Yo-Yo I am putting my body through is not good for the metabolism, nor for the nutrients necessary to feed my cells. I have taken physical therapy serious and am actually sticking with it on my off days. I basically suck it up, give myself a pep talk, then move on to what's needed to be done.

This time around I am releasing the weight because I no longer need the emotional security blanket that my stomach fold once gave me. It no longer comforts me.

Feed My City